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I've seen candles used as a metaphor for life several times by now.
A candle's "life" begins when it is lit. Like a baby, it sometimes requires care and nursing until the flame grows to its full size. Candles may have different life spans depending on their size and shape, and yet all eventually will "die" when they are inevitably snuffed, whether by force or by the wick simply burning out.
While lit, a candle can do many things. It can bring cheer, light up a dark room, or ignite just about anything. It can be a sign of worship, a beacon for a lost loved one, or just be used for practical reasons. I know that second one was used with me, not that I had any way of responding. Still, like the candle, people have many different ways of being in their lives. People are diverse, and between jobs, hobbies, and interests, there's got to be as many different ways of life as their are individuals.
But it's not a perfect metaphor, is it?
I mean, when the candle is "dead", the flame is extinguished, leaving a body but no soul. That is what most people can accept, what they can prove, within the real world.
But our souls don't disappear, do they? They may be ripped from the body, but they can't just be extinguished like that.
So where do the flames go?
If we were to extend the metaphor, would there be a ball of light to which the extinguished flames fly until they are needed again? Was it disembodied flames -- ones without a candle -- that ended up over the heads of the apostles in that one bit of scripture from the bible?
Are the flames gone? Or can we just not experience them anymore without a vessel, the candle, to show us that it's really there?
They said that my candle, my light, helped to light up the life of others. They spoke to me as if I were there listening, and yet they'd think Cass crazy if she were to insist that I've really been there all along. So what do they think happened to my flame, and how the hell do they reconcile the mixed messages and metaphors?
...and I guess this is another reason why so-late-it's-early posts are interesting things. Apparently I go all philosophical.
A candle's "life" begins when it is lit. Like a baby, it sometimes requires care and nursing until the flame grows to its full size. Candles may have different life spans depending on their size and shape, and yet all eventually will "die" when they are inevitably snuffed, whether by force or by the wick simply burning out.
While lit, a candle can do many things. It can bring cheer, light up a dark room, or ignite just about anything. It can be a sign of worship, a beacon for a lost loved one, or just be used for practical reasons. I know that second one was used with me, not that I had any way of responding. Still, like the candle, people have many different ways of being in their lives. People are diverse, and between jobs, hobbies, and interests, there's got to be as many different ways of life as their are individuals.
But it's not a perfect metaphor, is it?
I mean, when the candle is "dead", the flame is extinguished, leaving a body but no soul. That is what most people can accept, what they can prove, within the real world.
But our souls don't disappear, do they? They may be ripped from the body, but they can't just be extinguished like that.
So where do the flames go?
If we were to extend the metaphor, would there be a ball of light to which the extinguished flames fly until they are needed again? Was it disembodied flames -- ones without a candle -- that ended up over the heads of the apostles in that one bit of scripture from the bible?
Are the flames gone? Or can we just not experience them anymore without a vessel, the candle, to show us that it's really there?
They said that my candle, my light, helped to light up the life of others. They spoke to me as if I were there listening, and yet they'd think Cass crazy if she were to insist that I've really been there all along. So what do they think happened to my flame, and how the hell do they reconcile the mixed messages and metaphors?
...and I guess this is another reason why so-late-it's-early posts are interesting things. Apparently I go all philosophical.
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Date: 2013-02-07 01:49 am (UTC)From:Where do the flames go when they're released from the body? What had my soul been doing between France in 1832 and when it found me--this body, this time period? Why are you trapped like you are?
There really does need to be a way to prove that all of this supernatural... stuff... is real. It would be much simpler if everyone was starting on the same page, if there wasn't a risk of being called crazy or delusional for trying to discuss things that are actually occurring to us. Have you tried simple experiments with easy-to-find equipment--voice recorders, video recorders, simple cameras to see if you can produce any kind of result that your friend could show to others?
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Date: 2013-02-07 02:40 am (UTC)From:Does he know? Does he remember the time between at all? Or was it.... kinda like me except, like, 180 years later rather than the next morning? I guess he's trapped too if you consider yourselves separate, except his soul is in you rather than a house or something.
I've never tried just vocal, but pictures, yeah, no. I'm really... unphotogenic as it were. As in, nothing.
I've talked to another guy like me who's been photographed, but then he's got the freaky multiples thing going so I'm not sure if that's another complicating matter or not. (As far as I know, I'm an only child.)
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Date: 2013-02-13 04:19 am (UTC)From:I still say that photograph was weird as hell, though.no subject
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Date: 2013-02-13 03:32 am (UTC)From:So, you're actually a ghost then?
Like, incorporeal, wooga-booga, poltergeisty type ghost? The real thing? Trapped in a house?
Wow.
How do you type?
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Date: 2013-02-13 03:51 am (UTC)From:The typing thing though... that's a really good question.
I think it's a matter of perception? If someone can see me, I'm solid. If someone can't see me, I'm no more of an obstacle than dead air (no pun intended). Which really doesn't explain the typing, except that the computer's in Cass' room, so it's generally just the two of us around and... somehow that makes it okay or something?
Trust me, I don't get the physics of this either. I wish I did. It'd be nice to get answers instead of headaches for once.
Of course, I wouldn't blame you if you don't believe me at all. Not like I can prove it in any way that would make sense.no subject
Date: 2013-02-13 11:54 pm (UTC)From:I think I've given up all right to not believe you about being a ghost.
Yeah, not sure that all makes sense. But, hey, if it works.
We've got a tricky physics question on our end too:
If a shadow injures your soul in a dream, how would that result in your physical, waking body losing a crap-ton of blood?
If you've got any insights, let me know.
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:15 am (UTC)From:Don't you mean how he died though? I mean, from everything you've said, I'm pretty sure you're still occupying the physical state currently known as "alive and well". (Ok, maybe the "well" part is debatable if a shadow monster is trying to eat your soul....)
They say if you die in a dream, you die in real life, so the blood thing doesn't actually sound like too far a stretch in comparison. Though you say it's showing you how you died, but.... I guess you don't stay dead, or else that's wrong too? Again, I think it's a matter of perception.
...perception sucks, doesn't it?
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:17 am (UTC)From:I am alive, and as well as I've ever been, for the moment. It hasn't attacked me yet, just buttered me up and put me in the slow cooker.
We die all of the time in our dreams. Every time I dream as Grantaire, my past self, the shadow takes control of the dream, and we inevitably end up going through our deaths all over again. Except, it's been taking out the good parts recently... Which has made it a hell of a lot harder to deal with.
None of the dream death or injury sticks though. Not unless it's the shadow itself doing the damage. It has claws, my friends have said, and if it gets those into you, you wake up with physical wounds the next morning. That seems to be how it does damage to our souls as well.
>
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:18 am (UTC)From:Right. The whole "ba/ka" or however you want to interpret it multiple soul-parts reincarnation thing.
One thing I do know: getting eaten is bad. Try to avoid that.
Weird question, but does the dying hurt?
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:22 am (UTC)From:Unfortunately, the being eaten seems to be linked to being depressed or otherwise emotionally damaged, and it's making sure we are.
Uh, yes. I'd say that the dream-dying hurts about as much as it would hurt in real life. Getting executed by firing squad sucks. I would not recommend it. (Though I/he have no regrets about choosing to do so, so I guess your mileage may vary?)
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:30 am (UTC)From:I guess telling you to be more happy isn't the most productive thing right now? Like... sending pictures of cute animals or silly videos or stuff?
Not to pry or anything, but I'm here if you need to vent or anything. Sometimes a detached sounding board (no pun intended) can be good, 'cause there's no involvement in the real situation. You know?
I'm honestly not sure whether to be like "ouch" or to be jealous of you, there. ...I guess more the first one, though.
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:39 am (UTC)From:I dunno, for me it more depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood, I don't think anything could bring me down, and I'd be pretty safe from its claws. But when I get into a bad mood, I don't really even need its taunts to hate myself *winces*.
I guess I'll just have to try staying in a good mood? Despite my friends and I getting attacked practically every night?
Yeah, not gonna lie... I'm a pessimist at the best of times.
If it wasn't for the shadow's influence, it wouldn't be that bad. This might sound weird, but dying like that... it justified my whole life in a way. Or his. Oh, it'd be hard to explain.
It hurt like hell. It was the end of everything as far as he knew at the moment. But it was, we think, the best moment of his life.
And now the shadow is trying to strip it of that honor and make it just pain.
Ah, sorry. I'm getting pretty dark on you here.
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Date: 2013-02-14 12:47 am (UTC)From:Hating yourself's not good, though. Ever. I. Um. From what I know of you so far you're a really interesting person? And it sounds like you've got awesome friends, so they must think you're pretty awesome too and such? So chances are you should think a lot better of yourself?
No, no, it's fine. The darkness is actually, kind of really interesting. I mean, life-justifying stuff is pretty amazing, no matter why it happened, right? Plus, you've pretty much got the opposite problem from me, so. Yeah. It makes me all the more curious, if anything, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-14 12:57 am (UTC)From:My friends are fantastic. I don't really know why they put up with me half the time. I'm just glad that they do.
Nah, I"m not like Eric, or a lot of the others, who all have really strong points. I'm sort of the drunken hanger-on to our gatherings.
I'm pretty funny when I'm smashed. So Jona and Lyle and Barry like drinking with me. And I like to think I'm friendly.
But really, there's not much good to me beyond that. Sometimes, I'd tell you otherwise, and feel on top of the world. But it usually ends in disaster.
That's nice of you. But I think anyone with ghost-type problems would be interesting.
The life-justifying stuff is awesome. It really gave me a boost when that memory resurfaced. Unfortunately, like I said, the shadow's been undermining it.
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Date: 2013-02-14 01:03 am (UTC)From:And if your friends are worth their salt, they put up with you for more than being just drunken antics. You're not a total bastard at least, right?
I hope your purpose in this life isn't dying though. That'd just be mean.
As far as "opposite problem" goes... I kinda... remember being grabbed by a man in a van, falling asleep, and waking up dead. So I know I'm like this, and it's been obvious since day one, but... I don't know how or why. And that's just really unfair if you ask me, but I don't write the rules of the universe, however much I'd love to be that person.
So. Yeah. Opposite problem.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-14 01:31 am (UTC)From:I can sure royally piss people off at times.
"Purpose in life isn't dying", huh?
Hmm. We all died together last time. The same day. In the same battle. And it's a battle we seem to be fighting all over again.
Maybe we're doomed to die all over again? The thought has certainly occurred to me. The others have protested it, because this time our political activism involves a lot more paperwork and a lot less gunfights. But still, protests can still turn violent. People can kill over their ideals just as easily now as back then.
Will we be failed revolutionaries a second time?
Sorry to hear about your death. That sounds awful.
I got let off the hook as far as deaths go. I... he.... he got really drunk and slept through everyone else dying. He didn't have to watch his friends die. And when he finally woke, only our leader was left. So he got to die at his side.
So, I got lucky, because I was a total bastard and slept through the bad parts.
They forgive me for it, somehow. I'm not sure I ever will.
Can't say the rules of the universe were much prettier on our end, all told.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-14 01:57 am (UTC)From:I hope not. Once is enough, I think. People were meant to live long lives and have kids and perpetuate the lines and be good to others and touch others' lives and all that. You can't do any of that when you're dead, even if you linger.
I don't know if I'd call the lack of recollection in either of our cases lucky. I mean, at least the lack of firsthand knowledge is painless? But I don't know if it's anything I'd ever choose for myself, because not knowing is torture sometimes. At least I don't have the chance to get nightmares like you guys, even if some weird shadow thingy were to come after me too (and yes, I do dream).
But maybe in your case, not being able to know... not participating, but also not having bene part of the camradary that comes with knowing... is penance enough. Painful knowledge is often better than painless oblivion, after all. Or at least so I think.
I mean, even if it looked bleak, did you/he know that you were the only ones left when it happened?
The universe isn't a very fair place at all.
no subject
Date: 2013-02-14 02:05 am (UTC)From:Yes, it'd be more painful to see them die. But... the way it is now, I feel like I betrayed them. Like I let them all down, you know?
I'm sure I/he was the only one left other than Enjolras. If anyone else had been alive, they would have been there with him. But it was just him. Him and the firing squad, and bodies everywhere.
*shakes head* I get to see this in my dreams, I need to stop thinking about it when I'm awake.
On a different note:
Who's your other friend up above? And what's that about triplets?
no subject
Date: 2013-02-14 02:26 am (UTC)From:Heh. I guess so. Sorry 'bout that.
Um. Judging by icons, that's Nero and one of his brothers. There's three of 'em altogether. (Hense, triplets.)
Nero's.... like me. Died young, tied to the other two. But the thing is, his makes sense They're multiples, of course they're tied together. Hense my "freaky multiple thing" comment. But he can go places with his brothers, and they can't always perceive him.
The only other guy I've heard of like me is from a show, so who knows if he's based on real life or not -- in fact, even in the story he's halfway between reality and hallucination. It's just... too close to my truth for me to take it as being not necessarily based on anything.
...I swear there needs to be a manual for all of this. But then, it's all so irregular and strange, I wish everyone at least had the same story. It makes it so hard to believe any of it when none of it makes sense together.